Queer Eye for the Straight Guy should visit my home

Ok, so I know it doesn't look like it here, but my dad is usually really particular about what he wears. It basically boils down to him being traditional and old-fashioned (also see: frugal, grinchy, picky, cheap).

Yesterday I asked my dad what he wanted for Christmas. This is the list I found on the counter when I came home from work. . .

Dress shirts- long sleeve
Penneys
size 16.5 x 35 only Stafford or Towncraft
white or light blue
I need 1 or 2 white and whatever
keep receipt.

There is so much wrong here. First of all, my dad is displaying his anal tendencies. He is anal about everything. Everything has to be convenient and perfect and done correctly the first time. Everything has to be exact, right down to the button. If its not practical- it should not exist. Secondly, he is risk averse. He sticks to what he knows works. We go to Fillipi's for lunch once a week and he gets the same Torpedo sandwich each time. I ask him how their pizza is - its an italian place. He doesn't know because all he has ever had in the three years he has eaten there is the same sandwich. Third- he asked for the receipt! Ok, its practical- but its a christmas gift! Fourth, the very fact that all he asked for was an item that he needed to carry out his functional purpose in life need no further explanation.

I am very much like my dad when it comes to many things- high level of motivation, work-aholic, always likes to stay busy, wacky sense of humor, Lubovich nose/eyes. But when it comes to function- we are complete opposites. I am typically: laidback, spontaneous, whimsical, sentimental, quixotic, big picture as opposed to "detail" oriented. My most commonly spoken phrases are "it'll work out", "look, sparkly!", "eh, don't worry" and "I need chocolate".

My reply to his "wish list" (more like "wish you would acquire the true spirit of Christmas-list") was. . .

Santa doesn't keep receipts.
Santa says Daddy will like whatever Santa's elves make.

For years we have been working on my dad's fashion sense. I think between my sister and I that we can bring a little metrosexuality into his life. I invision that he will be wearing some trendy striped colored shirts in the near future with matching power ties. Hey, its better than a wand and tiara for department head meetings!

But I guess you can never fully take closet tradegy out of the lives of the fashion impaired.