Not even the pleasure of hell

I don't recognize the law school Christy.

When I'm at school, all I can think about is how much I need sleep. When I'm at home all I can think about it how much I need to study. I am a slacker living in limbo hell. I have so much hanging over my head that I can't ever relax, but I'm in such need of a break that I can't ever get anything accomplished.

I expunge all my energy on commuting and worrying. At times I don't care about my performance. At other times, I'm so upset about how little I am able to control my performance that I break down. The obstacle in front of me is so high that I don't even know where to start- like those overweight people on Biggest Loser trying to get back in shape-- you look down at the scale and its so discouraging-- impossible even.

I must be a terror to be around. I don't know why I'm even at school again. I am a horrible worker, I will never be able to keep a competative job, much less land one.

I guess I'm experiencing what all over-achievers feel when they have finally met their match and realize they can't keep up. I'm not perfect. I'm not even that great. It's a hard lesson to learn. Dissapointment is the worst internal plague.