For Donation: one pair of measley, disease infected balls

This car is four-door sex on wheels.

I've been on an ecstatice high since last night.

I drove by the Suquamish Park and Ride- i.e., the weekend car sales-lot for rich Bainbridge Islanders. When neighbor Steve decides to sell his ten year old Beemer because he suddenly realizes he doesn't need two Beemers, an SUV, and a Honda commuter car- he drops it off at the Park and Ride for the weekend with a reasonable price tag.

I've been keeping my eyes on the Park and Ride since July, knowing that I desperately need a car. A car for me means: my freedom, independence, a tool to defy my God-crazed mother, a more reliable me, and a ticket to the open roads of the West coast. The current situation in which I have to be granted permission to go anywhere in order to use my mom's sexy Aerostar Van is NOT working. If my mom decides that where I want to go, or what I want to do does not live up to her high purity standards, all she has to do is say "no" and my freedom is crippled for the weekend/night/entire existence at home. (I know it's depressing and sad when you need to pollute the earth and add to urban sprawl in order to feel "emancipated")

I'm 21~! I lived in big-city, crime ridden, Chicago for three years under my own supervision. I do not need to be treated like my 17 year old sister at home! I am given more responsibility by my boss than my own mother.

Ok, so- I found the car of my dreams last night at the Park and Ride. A '93 Volvo Sedan- the mileage was decent, the price was a steal. The car is super safe and a VOLVO! I was so SO excited. I gave the guy a call last night and arranged to test drive it with my dad today. My dad is the one who needs to be won over in order for me to get a car. He is really my only obstacle to car-ownership. If dad doesn't think it's safe/reliable/decent- then I will never be able to purchase it (and he has very high standards). With the Volvo- my dad was completely won over.

Last night, my head was filled with dancing, sugar plum Volvo's- those sexy, boxy machines!

So we get to the Park and Ride for our pre-arranged appointment with the seller this morning. Oh, the car isn't there- he must be taking it for a spin. . . wait a sec. A bastardly-looking man starts to walk towards us.

"I just sold the car two minutes ago- they just drove away. They offered me asking price, so I let them take it."

BASTARD!!That miserably blighted, rudely nefarious, urine reeking peice of man ! I was so angry- I wanted to punch him in the face. He could have let us look at it first- we DID have an appointment, the buyers did NOT.

Excuse me now, I have to make a quick call to donate his balls to Fear Factor. . . Man-bitch!