Armed to the teeth

or in my case, armed for the teeth....

Overcoming a 22 year campaign against increasing my already unbearable five minute bedtime routing by an exorbitant extra two minutes -- I finally put down my weapon of rebellion and stepped into the world of The Responsible Flossers.

Actually, when I recently saw those cool litte dental floss picks in the store for the first time, a little part of me started jumping up and down inside. You mean I can floss AND not cut off circulation in my fingers? AWESOME. Take any ordinary everyday item, dress it in a new package, offer it in "bubble gum flavor" and I'm sold, like a child drooling over a big eyed puppy in a petstore window.

After regularly flossing (i.e. twice a week) for three months, I was so proud of myself! I finally wouldn't have to lie during my next visit to the dentist chair. Not to mention, my teeth felt clean, ahem, "bubblegumy". AND, the throbbing pain of peircing my tender gums with taut dental floss was starting to feel sadistically GOOD.

However, despite all my new efforts, my dental hygenist was not impressed. Rather than remarking at the immaculate, plump gums between my teeth, she rattle off some nonesense about how I had three cavities (in my 23 years, I have only had one prior cavity) AND she grumbled about some Grand Canyon-ish dent on the face of one of my front teeth.

Yeah, so? I FLOSSED!

Sheesh....talk about not seeing the forest for the trees.

So I was sent home with an artillary shed full of plaque and tartar-fighting weapons: flouride mouth wash, new toothbrush, special fouride toothpaste, long pokey stick with detachable "pokey" things, FLOSS (hello!), and tooth dye pills that magically reveal plaque buildup (we need one of these for terrorist groups-- "all plaque must be eradicated!"). The best gift of all? A "drilling" 1.5 hour appointment for next week.

Did I mention that I was commanded to give up pop, candy, and sugary coffee? They might as well ask for my heart on a platter because, I swear, those are the very things that keep my heart beating.

Very Important Things

This blog is just one on a long list of people/items in the past month that I have had to bring up to date regarding Very Important Things.

Some VIT's, for example:
After lapsing in and out of an electronic version of the "bird flu" which caused my computer to be Very Very Ill Tempered, it now functions like new. Maybe that's because the computer doctor failed to fix it successfully the first three times and by the fourth attempt every part on my laptop had been replaced, including the cause of the flu.

As a recovering cross country runner, I have run only once in about four weeks, actually have skin on the bottoms of my feet again, no longer think of food in terms of how many miles it takes to burn off, no longer have the urge (ok well, I can RESIST the urge) to plummel ahead of passing speed walkers by shoving my elbow in their face. I actually believe there life beyond strapping on my Nike Air Pegasus, hitting the streets, and relishing in the pain of lungs on fire.

Omg, I am actually starting to accept that people in spandex shorts look weird.

Let's see... thanks to a summer job, I now get up at 5:00 most mornings, but am starting to get used to it-- see how adaptable I am!

I'm officially a second year law student.

I am a real, live married woman. Yes, there is life beyond marriage-- except in my case, this outcome was not so certain. Do you enjoy life-threatening thrills such as sky diving? Then I recommend eloping in another state in secret then returning a week later to break the news to your conservative Catholic parents. I am the squasher of a mother's dreams of a three-tiered-cake eating, stuffy relative attending, Holy Father blessing, "Proud Mary" playing while 300 crazy cousins, aunts & grandmas conga-line, wedding.

Side note: have you ever read the Wiki definition of "conga line" ? My favorite excerpt: "It often leads to extremely awkward social situations when everyone else drops off the conga line except for a few awkward stragglers who do not know what is going on." This doesn't happen in my faily of 100+... you never run out of people who are tired of doing the conga. When the joyful signs of a dying conga line start to shine, a pack of fresh rats jump on the conga tail and the fun starts all over again, sigh. Crisis # 1: Averted.

Common Mistakes Made in Caring for your Plant

I love plants. I guess you could call me an indoor plant enthusiast, or a planto-phile. Caring for and nurturing little pots of nature are one of life's most rewarding activities-- right behind clipping your nails after ten weeks of growth and organizing your tupperware drawer from smallest to largest. I am just THAT crazy about plants. If you have ever owned a plant, you would know that each one takes on a unique personality, this is why you should name your plant. Giving your plant a name that fully expresses who he/she is, will help your plant reach his/her full plant potential. Thus, I have named my plant Planty.

Meet Planty:

Over the course of our four month friendship, I have been Planty's sole provider. This is a huge responsibility, one I have not taken lightly. But even the most serious plant mothers, especially first time plant mothers, can make mistakes. I have put together a list of common "caring for your plant" mistakes below. Read the list, know the list, learn from the list, become the best plant mother/father you can be!

1. Just because your plant needs alot of sunlight, you should not infer that it is a desert plant that only needs to be watered every other month.

2. You cannot substitute Diet Snapple for water.

3. Negligently using your plant as a dirty underwear hamper will have a negative impact on your relationship.

4. Plants typically dont enjoy being walked, and may uncooperatively stand still in defiance of being leashed. Trying to force it to walk down the sidewalk, may result in your plant tipping over.

5. Do not assume your plant likes to be sung to (even if you think you belong on American Idol).

6. Plants need sunlight, they do not need sunscreen.

7. If your plant starts to turn brown, you should remedy this immediately with green Crayola markers, in the event that some "good samaritan" happens to call Plant Protective Services on you.

Follow this advice and you are well on your way to becoming a better plant parent! Happy Plarenting!

the world's a stage, and i'm in the audience

Right now I'm living on borrowed time (and borrowed money). This waiting game is frustrating. To make it worse, I decided to increase my time in limbo (aka school) by applying for a joint degree.

That's ok, at least I still have dreams.

Speaking of dreams...... Signs of finals week are creeping up everwhere. Three weeks ago was the first time this semester that a professor had brought up the word "final exam". I remember thinking "it is way to early to be bringing this subject up!" But now, exams are all we think and talk about!

Last night I had a dream that I was in the middle of a take home Contracts exam. I had four cases to examine and two hours to complete it. The cases were supposed to be from our Contracts casebook and I quickly found each one in the table of contents. But flipping through the book, they were either not there, kept changing pages, or the page number I was frantically searching for became suddenly elusive.

I raced against the clock, but the time I was given just kept bleeding away. I eventually had to turn in an incomplete exam. I couldn't stop kicking myself, I kept asking how I could be so unprepared as people around me exclained how easy the test was.

I woke up in a sweat at 5am with the strongest determination to crack open a book that I felt all year. But then I drifted back into uneasy sleep and woke up just in time to be five minutes late for class ;).

Thinning the lines of sobriety

The Middle Finger Contest (its not what you think)

"Guys, let's make this pose MOM-friendly"

"My eyesight improves with rum. In fact, I can see through you- yeah, right now you have blue blood, grey brain tissue, and squiggly intestines" - Me
"oh yeah, well i can make it so you can see light through my fingers" - T

"What will happen if we put our hair together?" - N

"Christy, maybe you should get a pitcher of water"- T
"What are you doing?" -T
"you told me to get a pitcher of water" -Me

Stool Fight (hey at lease it wasnt a diff kind of stool fight...)
Scary

"Oh Snap"

"Is this car a volvo?" - Me
"No" - T
"Oh, then why does it have a Volvo sticker on it?"
"You're so gullible"

The Gang Together Again.

Those we've forgotten

One and a half years ago, there was a hurricane that wiped out neighborhood after neighborhood in New Orleans. Today, the poorest neighborhoods look the same as they did a month after the hurricane.

I went down to volunteer during my spring break and I couldn't believe I was in America (not just because of the unfamiliar accents and the stomach-wrenching food). We have left our poor behind, to drown while wading through the burdens of the American Dream. We leave it to individuals to fulfil their own needs through independence and self-actualizing hard work. Out here in the flood damaged parishes of New Orleans, independence is a crutch we throw them. Independence means loneliness and callous neglect. Help isn't any better, help means bureaucratic red tape and complacency.

But these residents remain hopeful, the human spirit has risen above the failings of the government. It's the churches and the students who are rebuilding New Orleans, through common human compassion.

Update

Law school education is most effective in small doses. This is why I'm usually caught up with all my emails and breaking news headlines before the first 20 minutes of any class has passed.

Thanks to law school, I have a new affinity for "joke of the day" websites, I'm well versed in the latest current events, I always know the weather forecast for the next ten days, I know exactly where my friends are and what they are doing (facebook!) and I constantly break records for fastest email response times.

I have second semester-itis, all the symptoms are evident:

• My Professors are all speaking a new language: unintelligible garble.
• I can corretly predict the cafe's daily soup options.
• I leave home for class one minute later everyday
• The word "library" conjures images of my daily nap
• The thing I'm scared of most is the long line at Starbucks

6 weeks to go!