Armed to the teeth
or in my case, armed for the teeth....
Overcoming a 22 year campaign against increasing my already unbearable five minute bedtime routing by an exorbitant extra two minutes -- I finally put down my weapon of rebellion and stepped into the world of The Responsible Flossers.
Actually, when I recently saw those cool litte dental floss picks in the store for the first time, a little part of me started jumping up and down inside. You mean I can floss AND not cut off circulation in my fingers? AWESOME. Take any ordinary everyday item, dress it in a new package, offer it in "bubble gum flavor" and I'm sold, like a child drooling over a big eyed puppy in a petstore window.
After regularly flossing (i.e. twice a week) for three months, I was so proud of myself! I finally wouldn't have to lie during my next visit to the dentist chair. Not to mention, my teeth felt clean, ahem, "bubblegumy". AND, the throbbing pain of peircing my tender gums with taut dental floss was starting to feel sadistically GOOD.
However, despite all my new efforts, my dental hygenist was not impressed. Rather than remarking at the immaculate, plump gums between my teeth, she rattle off some nonesense about how I had three cavities (in my 23 years, I have only had one prior cavity) AND she grumbled about some Grand Canyon-ish dent on the face of one of my front teeth.
Yeah, so? I FLOSSED!
Sheesh....talk about not seeing the forest for the trees.
So I was sent home with an artillary shed full of plaque and tartar-fighting weapons: flouride mouth wash, new toothbrush, special fouride toothpaste, long pokey stick with detachable "pokey" things, FLOSS (hello!), and tooth dye pills that magically reveal plaque buildup (we need one of these for terrorist groups-- "all plaque must be eradicated!"). The best gift of all? A "drilling" 1.5 hour appointment for next week.
Did I mention that I was commanded to give up pop, candy, and sugary coffee? They might as well ask for my heart on a platter because, I swear, those are the very things that keep my heart beating.
posted by Christy @ 1:24 AM
1 comments
1 Comments:
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