Just Because

Things I learned I can do with a little help from Morgan (oh captain, my captain):

play my forearm as if it were a fiddle
speak spanish (ay sexito el bano, donde esta mi sombrero?)
open a twist off cap with my teeth
lose articles of clothing (it was just a sock.....no worries)
I can fake swim and drown pretty well (drunk friends are incapable of performing CPR though)